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ATX Comedy Review

Show Notes

We learn the benefits of eating crickets– and discuss how to survive Austin’s comedy scene.

Eli Halpern, Golden Cricket founder and funny man, is on this episode of ATX Comedy Review.

TRANSCRIPT

All right we are here I think we’re uh we started live now we’re streaming all right we’re live on Facebook we’re

0:19

chomping away we’re here with uh Eli uh Halpern is that how you say it Halford

0:25

I want to forget that and mess it up uh Derek dimple Shadow uh but welcome guys

0:31

to the ATX comedy review that’s what it is ATS comedy review yeah we keep on

0:36

changing it up well we changed it once but I can’t remember it ever DX comedy live ATX comedy review the week that was

0:42

yeah yeah whatever this is what we’re doing man so welcome Eli hello brother thanks for having me dude yeah yeah man

0:48

got a nice place you got some food yeah doing things a little differently uh try to make a crunchy podcast you know so

0:54

you can hear the ships in the background us coughing on a joints podcast yeah I mean that’s why I listen to podcasts you

1:00

want to hear the chips and the joint coffin and yeah yeah I mean that’s why I like amateur porn you get to hear what’s going on in the background yeah we’ve

1:06

got a little Echo going from the kitchen we’re going to be doing some microphone scratching all right we can mute here

1:14

yeah but uh no it’s cool man we uh I appreciate you coming out uh talking to

1:20

comedy with us we’re we just started this podcast uh what seven weeks ago this or seventh one now yeah dude I was

1:26

on the way over here this guy like kind of almost crashed into me and I was like what the [ __ ] man and I drove up next to

1:32

him and um I don’t do the middle finger because then then I admit that I’m angry and they won

1:38

okay so I gave him a thumbs down to let him know I’m not mad I’m just disappointed

1:45

yeah the look on their face it’s just like I like that thumbs down to you and

1:51

your life right now yeah I thought the reason for flipping someone up might be that so they wouldn’t actually crash

1:57

into you out of spite oh they might actually spite that yeah thumbs down like they’re just gonna

2:03

think about that they reflect on that [ __ ] actually he’s still thinking about it yeah yeah

2:09

I like that thumbs down to you [ __ ] all right I’ll still flip them off but I might give him like a

2:14

thumbs down it’ll flip off [ __ ] you and you’re yeah

2:22

make your head the opposite of a gang sign yeah you are not part of this gang

2:27

called the human race there we go um so yeah man so uh what happened this

2:33

last week uh Irene’s there uh Derek that was last Sunday you uh got kicked off you had a special guest didn’t you yes

2:39

yeah yeah great show we we had it out uh outside this time we’re gonna move it

2:45

back inside because I think it contains the space better but it was very exciting we had Kurt Metzger yeah he

2:50

came by he did 16 minutes nice nice so what’s the average time on your mic right now oh um I I give everyone 10

2:56

minutes you know but if it’s like a headliner I come in from out of town I say like hey you know you can take as

3:02

much as you want when would you like me to light you and he said I’ll just light me at 10 and then I’ll wrap it up when I want to okay Derek lit me early because

3:08

I was talking about how I wanted to sacrifice my abortions tomorrow

3:14

most abortions come from Molly I think I might I’ll let you a little bit early I

3:19

there are a couple that I let a little bit early so this was the confrontation podcast that’s what he came on for oh

3:24

it’s with Derek oh yeah I was I wasn’t a great setup no and let’s just try new

3:31

[ __ ] yeah if I ever like like someone early it’s because of how I’m feeling like the flow of the show it’s never a

3:36

personal thing I I have a rule that I never liked in Anger lightning that’s

3:41

good to know I’ll just remember to ignore it next time I never step off stage in anger so we’re winning here

3:46

yeah well no one should be fair it’s not like no it’s not it’s not like a

3:53

it wasn’t it wasn’t just your performance that there was just sort of kind of like a steady decline in the

3:58

energy level as the night went on I think partly because we had it outside no no it was like most people relative

4:04

to how I know how well I know you and how well I know others on the show could do most people bombed yeah yeah it

4:10

wasn’t it wasn’t a good setting for it outside’s never good you need like a tight room with low ceilings yeah so so

4:16

that’s what we’re moving the back moving it back inside it’s a little better are you breaking your stage inside

4:22

um yeah yeah it’s moving all in that’s cool yeah I mean the first week we had it we actually had it inside because

4:27

there’s a little sprinkling of rain oh okay so we’re like we’re worried about that and it actually worked out really

4:33

well because everybody then scrunched into the inside table with the mic at you Derek so we can hear you all right you’re not able to the other way okay

4:39

okay gotcha there you go okay okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

4:45

I think Derek has the thickest skin of like anyone in comedy uh yeah but he

4:51

definitely remembers that [ __ ] and he’ll give it back to you yeah

4:59

on a Tuesday he’ll go up and get cut within like four seconds and then just go up and do it again and I’m just like

5:06

dude you gotta respect that like he doesn’t give a [ __ ] yeah he remembers that [ __ ] and he throws it back on when you throw it back on the stage oh oh

5:12

yeah four minutes last time somebody I’m gonna push a little bit harder this time he definitely mentions that [ __ ] he doesn’t let it go I know no no no no no

5:18

no no no but okay yeah yeah that’s why like I know he can

5:26

take it so I’ll just roast the [ __ ] out of those bananas and he’ll just throw it right back and

5:32

I’m just like waiting what’s he got for me this time and sometimes he’ll [ __ ] hit me hard yeah and I’ll be like that’s good it’s all love dude I love uh banana

5:39

phones yeah and that’s not a place to hold back because people know it’s all in good fun yeah the great thing about

5:45

banana phone though is teaching those Comics hey there’s gonna be hecklers out there and sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself and not not [ __ ] let it

5:51

get to you that’s right the problem though is it’s supposed to be a Heckle night to get you ready for being heckled but you’re never gonna be at a show and

5:58

someone’s gonna have a hilarious Rose that’s never gonna happen that’s true the audience in the mic uh banana phone

6:04

is [ __ ] awesome we have a great a great set of comics there I’m just from Jack’s home uh what’s that Jackson

6:11

yeah he’s the Boogeyman in the back yeah uh now uh what’s his name’s back uh the

6:17

Australian prove uh oh yeah Jose Rojas the Peruvian Donald Trump yeah yeah yeah

6:23

yeah so uh those guys are it’s fun to see the new Comics come up and have some good hits with the with the like my Mike

6:30

eating out there still throwing them out there with uh you know the the more professional Tech comics and the whole mix of that banana phone is just just

6:36

unbelievable the whole room just opens up to everybody even the crowd gets involved right yeah

6:42

well thank you I think I think it’s the best mic in the world the one minute you

6:48

get there it’s just being there I could because like I can’t sit through a whole comedy show I’ve seen so much comedy

6:54

yeah and it’s like all right I get it even if even if everyone’s a killer I’m like like um am I with banana phone

7:00

there’s an element of you never know what’s going to happen well and I can yell stuff yeah that’s amazing

7:06

you have to be engaged yeah and um Candace Medina’s [ __ ] hilarious she’s the best person to run that yeah yeah

7:13

she’s amazing roaster her two boyfriends do really well who’s the other boy Jack

7:18

oh Jack Stoltman no Joe Jackson that’s what I was trying to say okay

7:25

well it just looks like yeah what’s your boyfriend’s actual name look how much

7:32

Joey Joey Joey yeah yeah yeah well I appreciate the compliment but

7:39

speaking of things uh speaking of not letting go the things well I I got I got cut off those two times at latchkey this

7:45

last Tuesday right it was actually pretty awful feeling I was just riding it out um but um uh but then but then I walked

7:52

past Gale and Nash who’s going to be on the show tonight and he was saying like hey and the first thing he comes at me

7:57

was like how much money did you pay to go up there and bomb twice it was like zero dollars dark

8:06

zero dollars you actually went right up next right after you got let off again no no no no

8:13

no no they’re like four or five okay yeah yeah he said walk off the door well yo [ __ ]

8:19

you I’m going back well no I I would have probably I probably have to hand them like a hundred dollar bill to do that or something like that muscle man

8:26

you can pay uh forty dollars to not get cut yeah but what I’m saying is like it’s funny

8:32

yeah but yeah of course you can pay twenty dollars to skip the line and then 40 and then an extra 20 so that you

8:38

won’t get cut off how many other hosts are not making money off that I mean why does it like that’s it was a brilliant

8:44

concept why isn’t uh [ __ ] Monday night at uh [ __ ] quick in the cave

8:49

doing that because we have so many bombs on that night that’s right because you charge five bucks oh you’re talking

8:56

about like at the mic yeah yeah that’s that’s how La was you don’t want to charge for stage but the bump if you did

9:04

make the list in time now you want to come in okay well now you’re bringing capitalism into college which I actually

9:10

kind of agree with what you guys were just talking about that’s what I was just saying I got the idea from that how else are people gonna make a living off

9:15

of course that’s why I think I think there should be money in comedy for sure oh yeah you got to make it and if it’s

9:21

uh Comics paying to get stage time I don’t think that’s the way to do it but if his Comics to pay above just cut the

9:27

line to get extra time to do those things yeah that’s that’s valuable stuff you should you should pay for

9:33

definitely there’s definitely like a certain amount of wiggle room I like to keep my Integrity pretty intact but if

9:39

it’s somebody I like and they bring me like a whole ass burrito oh yeah you gotta pay I’m like 100 what do you mean

9:46

Integrity like you’re gonna lose part of yourself if you accept five dollars um

9:52

all right it’s only if I feel bad about a thing that that I won’t want to do it you know yeah but but I think but but I

10:01

think like if yeah no no no I think you do lose a little bit of yourself if you

10:07

like uh if you gave that kind of pressure and it’s and it’s also kind of like kind of a sleazy feeling yeah you

10:14

know I’ve actually been feeling that about running my business is that I feel like bad about trying to make money

10:21

because I don’t really believe in money I mean I don’t think it’s a good idea what do you do you

10:28

believe in your product yeah absolutely and a belief in your product would mean that uh like the more of it is in your

10:34

world the better a thing that that would be and so it shouldn’t be so bad to make money from it I mean it’s not

10:41

a huge deal but those thoughts have crossed my mind where it’s like am I being greedy and evil for wanting to

10:47

grow a business absolutely which I don’t think so because the reason I want to grow the business well one reason will

10:52

help more people you get you employ people you’ll as as it grows you’ll grow and I want to help the comedy scene out

10:58

I want to start sponsoring comedy shows yeah sponsoring music events what’s your business it’s a golden I left the

11:03

samples in the car of course um it’s a cricket protein bar so

11:08

crickets are 65 protein by weight they contain all nine essential amino acids they use 2 000 times less water to

11:14

produce than whey protein they only takes six weeks to farm they’re super high in calcium magnesium zinc iron so

11:19

they’re like the best quality are you smashing these crickets yourself or no I I buy them patternized from a cricket

11:25

Farm okay I think you make the bars though are you are you making them I Outsource everything you [ __ ] Source

11:30

everything but you’re just uh you’re the businessman you’re the unit altogether for the consumer to get in one product in one package yeah like I came up with

11:37

the initial formulation I okay I guided my uh I guess I was the

11:45

artistic director for the design my uh my friend Chris Gonzalez did all the actual work but I was kind of I told him

11:51

how I wanted it and he kind of made it in my image I’m envisioning a commercial for this it’s like after a big swarm of

11:57

locusts and they’re all dead on the trees this hungry man runs out and [ __ ] the local stuff dude so we got we got

12:04

Bishop from nether hour I bought him a lizard costume oh yeah we just did a

12:09

shoot with him the other day yeah the cricket bars yeah like it’s funny dude I’m not gonna explain it but it’s

12:15

hilarious it’s Bishop in a lizard suit doing my ad so let’s look I can’t wait

12:20

to see that man so Cricket bars though are you a regular uh proponent of these bars are you eating them on the regular

12:26

basis or you just sell on them I would love to eat them on a regular basis the problem is you can’t get high on your own Supply

12:33

yeah yeah I was doing like four a day at first oh damn and then I was I

12:38

calculated that I lost like a thousand dollars in profit time to sell something and uh or Revenue not profitable we’re

12:45

gonna get them where can we get the cricket bars man goldencricket.com and if you live in Austin you’re gonna see

12:50

them everywhere we’re going to be selling them a Creek in the cave soon oh cool and a lot of shops around town already sell them 10 in Food Mart Black

12:56

Sheep boxing which is by here and um but uh this this podcast is about the

13:03

last week in comedy yeah yeah but we’re talking about everything though man so it happened last week too right yeah but

13:09

uh I think there’s something important we need to discuss let’s talk about it and that is uh the passing of my good

13:14

friend Adam hartle yes he was uh him and uh Anthony open Sunset Strip

13:21

comedy club which uh it was the best in town for a while they only did like one

13:27

or two shows a month and it was always the best show and they had

13:32

like killer Headliners every show was the best man and Adam was just

13:38

the most supportive loving generous kind human he was

13:45

always had my back always pumping me up buying my merch wearing myself repping

13:50

my product [Music] overpaying comedians yeah well just he would just tell everyone

13:57

how important they are it made everyone feel special and um

14:03

if you know Adam you would know that he didn’t get the vax so I’m not sure

14:08

how or why he died suddenly but it was Cardiac Arrest wasn’t it yeah but like

14:15

what like I don’t know man it’s it’s

14:20

and yeah some people think it’s about other people are not getting back to get this hard Cardiac Arrest I mean it’s so

14:26

it’s happened to so many young people right now it’s an interesting uh thing that it’s taken young lives that I think

14:31

it might be poison in the water supply it could be anything bro who knows about this moment you know it’s just that’s

14:37

why I just got an aqua spring uh filtration system installed and the water tastes a lot better and it’s

14:42

ionized and other stuff I don’t know Sunset comedies support support that

14:48

family support everybody yeah Sunset Strip Comedy Club always had hilarious shows like one time I went and caught

14:55

the end of the Jamie Kennedy show uh yeah well he was headlining there and and he’s [ __ ] hilarious it’s like

15:01

yeah he’s so so skilled too he knew how to work the crowd like oh Jamie Kennedy yeah yeah he was great we had him on the

15:06

Pod dude so uh I also rap okay um low baller everybody check him out on a

15:12

Tuesday at latchkey yeah I’m also on Spotify I have a new album coming out soon called your God okay

15:19

um Adam hartle was the first person to pay me to perform raps so he made me a professional rapper oh wow uh so the

15:26

thing is is like anyone who’s I’m not even gonna say like you know show

15:32

like Adam’s friends and family support because they’re going to because Sunset

15:37

Strip will live on yeah and Anthony Hashem is dude he’s best friends with

15:43

Anthony since like our best friends with Adam since since they were young so and

15:48

was it kind of a bigger guy or is it I’m not sure he’s got like a ponytail okay gotcha so he’s different from who I’m

15:54

thinking of yeah but yeah he’s got a lot here it was him and Adam those were the two Sunset guys do you know if there’s a

15:59

GoFundMe for Adam’s family though or support for his kids or anything like that do you know who started that I

16:04

don’t think so man I think the family’s still processing it okay um maybe that’s something that somebody you know close

16:10

to the family can help them with they’re not really thinking about it because uh that’s definitely a helpful thing at

16:16

this time you know even you know he’s at a club or whatever they need they need help they need donations whatever so if

16:22

somebody’s out there that’s close to the family set that up to him get get us before because I know how hard it is

16:27

losing a spouse suddenly like that it’s got to be very very difficult for anybody and then you know have those

16:34

kids on top of that yeah three kids she’s got three kids she’s you know just had a loss of her husband so somebody

16:39

close to him please set up that GoFundMe so people can donate to that but yeah um but anyways uh back to uh Sunset it’s

16:46

gonna be good they’re gonna live on they’re opening up a new club I don’t know if you know about this it’s all it’s right on 6th Street

16:52

[ __ ] perfect location What’s it gonna be called ugly ceiling ugly ceiling I love comedy clubs with an

16:59

ugly ceiling you look up and it looks like a cave and there’s pipes and it’s all painted black oh yeah yeah like sort

17:04

of like a basement yeah yeah it’s perfect for comedy dude grinding that’s where they used to have them like back

17:10

in New York with like those basement brick rooms and then you just like be pipes everywhere yeah yeah and it’s got

17:15

like this it’s like it’s kind of like oh it’s just very Woody okay a lot of

17:22

wood and it’s it smells like that it feels like it’s it’s seen things the

17:27

stage is pretty big um the the it’s upstairs

17:32

uh I don’t know what it’s gonna be opening I think they were planning on like February or something I could just be

17:38

making [ __ ] out so it’s upstairs but looks like a basement yeah that’s cool like it’s attic yeah okay but

17:44

um yeah I don’t know what’s gonna be happening I I’m pretty sure they’re still doing it yeah I wouldn’t I

17:51

wouldn’t doubt they would they wouldn’t continue that fun but I’m not gonna I’m not gonna ask Anthony about that right now yeah of course not are they moving

17:58

from from their old building or just opening up a new location well so they haven’t been

18:03

the previous location the sunset room they haven’t been with them for a while they’ve been using Ballroom oh okay so

18:10

they haven’t been renting that space lately no they’ve been renting out Ballroom okay where they also moved Anthony at spider house Anthony owns a

18:17

company called uh Spider house yeah okay Anthony owns a company called uh Happy grilled cheese which is this little food

18:24

truck that you used to be in front of Violet Crown yeah they moved it over to ballroom and bro

18:30

it is the best grilled cheese you will ever have in your life okay if you’re hungry get the uh

18:38

the jalapeno popper grilled cheese all right and then a s’mores grilled cheese with bacon for dessert holy [ __ ] I’m

18:44

gonna check that out all right happy grilled cheese all right definitely gonna check that one out and they move

18:50

to where now were they in front of spider house Ballroom okay that’s that’s on sick no no uh it’s kind of like by

18:57

campus I don’t know I don’t remember dude I’m not getting the directions yeah sure like erectile dysfunction I was

19:03

saying it’s east of the 35. I like yeah more like like 38th and Guadalupe something like that okay it’s like on

19:09

the North corner of Campus on the west okay okay obviously ended up your spot anyways all right so yeah happy grilled cheese check them out over there

19:15

uh but yeah so it sucks man because me and Adam we would always be talking about like how lucky we are to be this

19:21

this [ __ ] didn’t take anything for granted too he every day he was like look what we’re doing man we’re doing comedy we’re all here we’re all doing

19:27

this together yeah and I was like yeah dude like I was so excited to get that was like my guy you know we were gonna go through the whole [ __ ]

19:33

together and and be there side by side and he’s not he’s not a part of it anymore and that sucks but I’ll I’ll never

19:41

forget him and anyone who really knew him never will either and I’m hoping they’ll have like a framed

19:47

picture of him up out here yeah actually I should go get that there you go yeah that’d be your contribution man all

19:52

right that’s something you can do for Adam right there sounds like you have a great energy yeah and that’s

19:59

that’s the thing he’s gonna be living through you brother that’s he’s not gonna be gone or forgotten or not with you he’s there with you right now oh

20:05

yeah he is me dude we’re all one we’re all [ __ ] We’re All in This Together thinking about comedy man his body is no

20:11

longer here but his Consciousness is floating around and I’ll see him again when I die I’ve done enough DNT to know that yeah and uh I was uh lucky enough

20:18

to share that experience with him as well [ __ ] yeah man so you guys already connected right before he died but like like months previous

20:25

it wasn’t the DMT yeah and you honor him by embodying his best attributes too

20:30

yeah by living into the good of someone you know yeah yeah so when I found out that happened I had a show that night

20:36

and I was like I don’t know I’m going to do this and I was like wait what the [ __ ] am I talking about I’m gonna crush this so yeah I went off and just riffed

20:42

hard about how we should all just kill ourselves because life is such a joke and and

20:47

people were kind of it was it was funny but it wasn’t like a great set but it was very interesting to

20:53

where I had the whole room silent like staring at me like which is not exactly what you’re going

20:59

for in college captivating is captivating yeah yeah and it got a lot off my chest and uh I felt I felt a

21:04

little better after I was like I feel better and I was like wait Adam’s still dead uh yeah and you know killing yourself just

21:10

to be with somebody to do that either live out your life support to them you

21:15

know every way you can remember them yeah I’m concerned about some of the comics who are you know like who were close to like um like like Mike Eaton

21:24

last night at the filthy show Absolutely crushed it um but he like his voice was hoarse so I

21:29

figured like oh he’s been going hard at something you know like talking a lot or whatever since I’m like okay so maybe

21:35

he’s you know having a hard time but you know and then yeah dude I was drunk and [ __ ] hilarious man I keep telling

21:42

Mike like you it’s not a joke stop being fat please I don’t want you to die it compromises your immune system it’s I

21:49

gotcha all that [ __ ] yeah but honestly if he looked like me he would not be as funny yeah maybe uh yeah no I I think I

21:57

think I think he could no it’s not just his looks he’s not a hearty you know yeah he’s he’s not good he’s good good

22:04

jokes man oh no he’s one of the funniest people in the [ __ ] world creates good intention at the audience

22:09

too when he’s when he’s up there and so he so so they know they feel safe and like oh we’re here to have fun and this

22:16

is all just nonsense it’s just fine I don’t ever say like I’m not smiling he has got a [ __ ] happy attitude all the

22:23

[ __ ] time yeah yeah he’s that Mikey just just a joyful dude to be around I think yeah yeah he was Mike was actually

22:30

my first fat friend I was always like but I don’t like fat

22:36

people I met him at Mike and I was like I think this guy’s my brother but but Mike’s probably got a lot of

22:43

good years left in them condition of his body there’s time for change oh Jesus

22:48

Christ it does make a reflect on you know anybody can have a heart attack at any time no he’s been going to the gym with John Cardin lately yeah so that’s

22:56

dope John’s pretty fit yeah I wonder what Jergens is I’m noticed and mentioned it a couple times

23:02

he’s talking oh he’s talking about like when you’re young he’s like oh you look you look like you still jerk off with

23:07

conditioner it’s like when you hit a certain age you learn about Jergens I was trying to Google it oh yeah it’s a type of lotion

23:15

it’s like a gallon for like three bucks all right now I know I I reached the age

23:23

yeah they should call it Jerkins yeah it’s it’s just straight up uh 14 year

23:28

old lubricant all right hello Walmart you know oh dude this one time when I was a kid I told

23:35

this other kid at school that the way I masturbated was by putting two Vaseline covered sponges in

23:43

a Ziploc bag between my couch cushions and [ __ ] it I don’t think you’re making this up I never did that once

23:49

that sounds very macgyverish to not and very detailed to not be either seen it’s

23:56

a person if you get to know me that’s kind of how I think I just think very extravagant if

24:02

I was gonna hypothetical if I was gonna do it this is how I would do it I told him this story that I do that and

24:09

he’s like really and I was like yeah and then he started doing it for real and then uh yeah

24:15

I think he’s actually pretty successful probably because you knew a good idea

24:22

he’s like I’m not wasting my time with women I got these vaselines one of his best invented the flashlight before it

24:29

was ever he’s just got a [ __ ] laptop pretty much right on the back of his couch just [ __ ] it and just typing up

24:34

not having to worry about anything yeah it would have been the first sponsor of

24:40

The Joe Rogan podcast and everything would be on its head yeah I’ll be the last sponsor of The Joe

24:45

Rogan podcast

24:54

in support of it dude he’s brought it up on like two different podcasts in the last month or two oh yeah Cricket

25:00

protein is a big part of his bill right now no for sure yeah and there are a lot of people who feel weird or squeamish

25:06

about Eden bugs but there are a lot of really good Arguments for it being you know for being like the future of food sustainability yeah I mean there’s no

25:12

real arguments against it yeah but but it was hilarious when uh when when Holly

25:17

when Holly got you like a banana phone a couple weeks ago and she’s like you sell bugs

25:24

you’re like because you hack all that or you’re just like shut up no no no no actually actually I won that exchange

25:30

she was like she was like oh how are your Cricket sales going and then people chuckled and I was like I made 150 000

25:36

last week and then she’s like oh hell yeah yeah okay so they are still on bugs

25:43

those people who Alpha mailed that [ __ ] dog yeah listen man

25:54

this is this is all misdirected anger because I can’t succeed in comedy I would much rather be a stand-up but you

26:00

know getting making millions of dollars from a company is honestly easier way easier way easier and comedy will always

26:08

be there and I’m not gonna stop doing it I mean I’m not grinding at comedy but I’m still I’m keeping my momentum and

26:13

I’ve been crushing on here’s the thing like most shows if you can win you know

26:18

keep winning at this business game why stop playing it and then you have other time in your life for like for

26:24

Meaningful Pursuits you enjoy I like comedy yeah the issue I have with comedy is if I were to devote my life to being a

26:32

successful comedian that would look like staying out till 12 to 1 am every night and uh probably

26:38

engaging in drinking and drug use uh throwing off my schedule for the next day and it would not be making me any

26:46

money in the meantime uh unless you know a few like 30 bucks here and there whereas if I spend that time training

26:53

I’m helping my body or if I spend that time working I’m helping my business so it just seems

27:01

like comedy is not the best use of my time given the other options I have right now right so I kind of have just

27:08

put that as the third priority on my list uh trading is the first because if

27:13

you don’t have health you don’t have anything if I lost everything I’d still be you know able to yeah I got bounce back skills like a

27:20

trampoline like E40 says your body in good shape you know yeah yeah well I have no doubt that you could

27:25

twist me into pretzels that’s why I think that just happened I

27:31

saw that that’s all that magic look there man but if you want to prove it yeah I’ll be on the ground

27:36

do I start like this or do we [Laughter]

27:42

yeah so uh that did me in hot butter what else happened last week uh kill

27:47

Tony wasn’t that much oh we saw the guy who didn’t kill himself so like yes that we were worried about a a certain person

27:53

who came from Georgia just to recap uh he came in uh maybe six weeks ago or now

27:59

seven or so uh came in with a friend of his uh they both uh we’re gonna do kill Tony he didn’t get on the three went

28:05

home the guy stayed here went homeless got robbed every every week lost everything kept on getting more and more

28:10

down down down down finally gets on kill Tony gets booed off stage

28:16

and comes outside another comic goes man that guy should kill himself he just wasted all this time standing right

28:22

there uh so I’m like oh I’m in the middle building I’m wondering what’s gonna happen to him he does come back last week he’s he’s gone ho he’s still

28:30

homeless but he’s found another homeless girlfriend of his and she’s gonna well she gets off probation they’re gonna get their life together

28:35

he went into a severe downwards yeah so he’s kind of impressive

28:41

yeah well maybe it’s just that maybe he lived a sheltered life and now all of

28:47

the ideas that he got from the plots of books are just coming out it’s all it was all this romantic idea and then like

28:53

[ __ ] I lost my MacBook um [ __ ] I have to go back how long has he been doing all of my ideas are not effective kill Tony

29:00

was his first age I begged him every week for the last six weeks to come to the creek in the cave and do some stand up just get on stage see what it’s like

29:05

just drew something I just want to kill Tony and he [ __ ] that’s what he got and so after that

29:12

week I’m like okay well why don’t you come do stand up now I want you to see if you had another chance no no I’m gonna do it right

29:25

he’s wasting a week of his life is a lot per play and he’s not getting called

29:30

talk about not being healthy you know he’s not getting food he’s not getting yeah because he didn’t look really in

29:36

that shape or like homeless well he lives he lives behind a Planet Fitness so for 10 bucks a month he can take showers so he keeps himself

29:44

what does he do all day is he he doesn’t is he funny at all no dude is he is he

29:49

even cool to talk to no so like what so our first interaction was uh see that’s a shame man there’s some people that

29:55

kind of just suck yeah I mean I’m sure there’s people out there who I think what this guy needs to do I think

30:01

everyone has their marks to get himself out in amongst people and really socialize and develop the personality

30:06

that could become or just Comics you know just just to see what Comics actually do you know if you’re gonna do a comedy this is like this is an open

30:13

mic this is a this is a real comedy set yeah you have to be a comic at something this guy has to have been sheltered for

30:19

all of for all of his ideas of going into the world and working with it is causing him to like completely lose all

30:26

of this [ __ ] Tony tells me I got killed serial killer Vibes and I keep on ending up behind him and scaring him by

30:31

accident so I don’t need to do this but that guy is going to be the guy who’s gonna [ __ ] shoot us all and I don’t

30:38

you know I mean that’s he can’t afford it yeah but here’s the thing I got death threats from this guy that got banned he

30:43

left in the car yeah outside of [ __ ] Sixth Street for him to [ __ ] see it and take an opportunity and [ __ ] just

30:48

use it what I’m but yeah but what I’m trying to understand is like how might he have gotten to that point and that

30:54

can give you an in that if you have people in inroad into well you said you said when you met him he seemed like he

31:00

he was a normal guy from Georgia him and his friend they were they were just normal dudes in the business industry they had business clothes on he was just

31:07

a normal guy now are you sure you didn’t get a misread uh I mean maybe he was

31:12

just having a look he was looking good that night but he’s usually well I’m doing cracks his story from I mean he

31:18

almost smokes weed you know that’s the thing he asked about other drugs and stuff he only smokes weed and he gets a little bit of weed here and there from

31:23

the homeless guys um but he doesn’t he doesn’t do any other drugs he just wants to be on kill Tony so bad and redeem himself man [ __ ]

31:30

homeless people that’s like what yeah you know this guy became no dude he should he should go on

31:36

a shooting rampage he should go shoot up a bunch of homies I’d support that I’d be like you know

31:43

that guy is a hero he’s just yeah done just how many people get harassed and

31:49

while he’s marking these homeless people how many people get arrested because of my homeless people by homeless people

31:54

and they make people feel unsafe and they’re out there fighting and [ __ ] in the middle of the street and so there

32:01

should be one person as I’m saying that I’m getting kind of jealous yeah yeah being homeless might be tight

32:07

you could be uh I’d be like the king homeless guy superhero vigilante of some kind the Rat King yeah how do how do you

32:14

get robbed by a homeless person though I don’t get it well I mean you walk away from your tent for a minute and everybody knows some [ __ ] wait he was

32:20

homeless so when he got robbed by a homeless person yeah yeah so he so he went he started Living on the streets

32:25

because he had everywhere to stay but he said he had like a Macbook so he was looking for a place to live so he’d just say okay I’ll camp out a couple nights

32:31

find some place to live this [ __ ] gets robbed he starts somebody you can’t do that you can’t just camp out a couple of

32:37

nights you can’t even you can’t even tow the line line with homelessness because you need to stay dude I honestly think

32:44

that the the homeless problem is very easy to fix but I think they just leave it there to just leave them in front of

32:49

us so all the working class sees what will happen if we don’t do our job right it’s a little one yeah yeah but if we

32:55

did kill all the homeless people who are the people in society who would next become homeless you guys for sure

33:05

around a little bit a little bit more I’ll do prom PT [ __ ] I got a good person see you don’t forget

33:11

yeah yeah no Uncle laser who was on kill Tony this last week absolutely [ __ ]

33:16

crushed it nobody knew he could play harmonica that way but I think he was born with it in his mouth [ __ ] awesome yeah dude Uncle laser he’s gonna

33:23

be on the show tonight but he was telling me about because my my Instagram just got my Instagram just got deactivated I was uh you know I was

33:31

banned for violating Community standards around sexual solicitation they’re trying to make a little money you know

33:37

which I never did but I just had my only fans on there right but but Uncle laser he pulled me aside after the kill Tony

33:43

show he’s like you got to work the algorithm let me show you something nice yeah yeah so Uncle laser is the opposite

33:50

of that guy you’re talking about yeah the quickest yeah absolutely his first

33:55

time an abundance personified and this guy yeah and this guy is just poverty

34:01

personified it’s because you know why it’s because laser is already a hard worker he’s not just a funny guy yeah

34:07

he’s is a very multifaceted well-rounded individual he was already making a [ __ ] ton of money at his oil just with him

34:14

now it’s [ __ ] awesome yeah like I I think he’s even surpassed Casey rocket yeah he’s he’s making he’s making good

34:20

he’s a professional comedian he’s making yeah he made huge waves for the first week he’s in town I saw him he was

34:26

hanging out in the back of the creek of the cave and then he’s on the Secret Show and then he just keeps on boom boom boom boom and even Tony said I’m gonna

34:32

put you on the show yeah pull out the bucket but he was gonna get put on the show either way just because that was the spiral he was on you’re talking like

34:39

he’s just he’s on he’s on the Skyrocket so yeah definitely watch for that guy Uncle laser he has a [ __ ] wolf jacket

34:45

on [ __ ] pie no shirt a little cocaine around here [Laughter] he’s like a a shorter cooler Southern

34:52

version of me [Laughter] her hair than both

34:59

[Applause] of them are oiled up yeah give me give

35:04

me a few months you remember how my my mullet was like a year ago oh your hair is luscious now it gets better

35:12

Dean stanfield’s up there too oh yeah for sure well that’s cool yeah they just moved into a house together he and Dean

35:18

and Kyle Dowdy yeah yeah dude I was saying that laser looks like my arch nemesis for like a wrestling match but

35:24

like the weight class doesn’t line up but him versus Dean perfect you and him at the Vulcan yeah like what why not why

35:32

not should be a roast battle yeah why not set up a uh style roast batter yeah just come out

35:40

with those [ __ ] belts there should be a belt yeah everybody’s gonna have costumes and [ __ ] we’ll have it like a

35:46

ladder personality based grossly it’ll be absolutely nuts no I think he’s on uh

35:52

a wrestling thing pretty soon with Dean oh holy [ __ ] that’s [ __ ] awesome yeah

35:57

but it’s funny that they’re doing that because I I thought of that like months ago okay comedians on Bulls doing comedy

36:03

what was it then yeah you could do it as a follow-up show which is comedians

36:08

trying professional wrestling

36:14

are they announcing this wrestling match I saw a flyer for it I don’t remember okay I was a flyer

36:21

so that’s a wrestling match well cool guys uh anything else that we need to mention this week from uh that we should

36:27

not to forget or any advice to up-and-coming Comics take the laser weight or the uh the loser way or you

36:34

know um if you’re thinking about being a comic or you’re new to Comedy I think you should quit

36:40

tips for Comics at open mics uh just no no when you’re next check on the list

36:45

and then be ready uh when when the when the host is calling you up start walking toward the stage so you can take over

36:52

the mic right away these are good uh good tips also if if the crowd’s a little bit the crowd’s a little bit low

36:57

try and get them to cheer together at something shouting out the bartender is a great way to do that uh and then you

37:03

get get them all together and start doing your jokes also I I think you should figure out which one of your jokes are

37:09

like exactly a minute long so when you get the light you’ll have something to wrap it up yeah don’t run the light yeah and uh it’s your name if you’re new and

37:16

your name is weird just write it phonetically it doesn’t matter if it’s spelled right just make it easier on the person reading it they have to pronounce

37:22

it right they don’t have to know how it’s spelled Melbourne’s a good example of that his name is spelled like o u g h oh yeah yeah and he started spelling it

37:29

the the rarest way instead of instead of keeping it o w e n so that everyone so

37:34

that it’ll just be easy for everyone I think I I think that’s becoming kind of yeah it he’ll figure it out so if if

37:41

it’s pronounced a certain way spill it how it’s pronounced phonetically like you said yeah definitely that definitely helps yeah yeah well cool guys uh and if

37:48

all you want to start a podcast get some weed get some little smokies and invite cool people over it helps and and also

37:54

come come to Irene’s tonight it’s going to be a great show 7 P.M it’s an awesome venue come on Irene yeah exactly well

38:01

guys thanks for coming out with the shadow Eli Derek all right peace out guys see ya cool

 

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ATX Comedy Review is a weekly video podcast for comedians by comedians